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How to Restore Trust in Relationships
Strong and happy relationships between a man and a woman are built on mutual understanding, love, and trust. In this case, it is often the last component of happy relationships that is most important because trust is hard to earn and very easy to lose. To restore trust in a relationship, you need to work together. Trust is a joint effort, not a desire for one and a concession of another. When you lose confidence, it is worth thinking about what you feel for this person, and do you really have a desire to look for points of contact with him?
If you understand that even though the trust has been lost, but you are ready to try to repair the relationship, then make such a decision. Otherwise, you will be in constant suspense - to be with this person or not. If you decide to give your romance a second chance, we present 7 useful tips on how to restore trust in relationships.
- Do not try to reduce the pain caused by the act
It is very important for a deceived person to know how everything was in reality. When you try to answer questions sincerely, you can withhold certain details or be limited to outline responses. And at the same time, you think that you do not lie.
Your partner feels you are hiding something. Some details come to light with time, and it turns the life of someone who has been deceived into a nightmare. Considering everything that has happened, he constantly keeps in mind a picture of terrible betrayal, and his life turns into hell.
You do not need to hide something and keep back. Let your loved one know the truth. Do not try to minimize suffering, because the best medicine, in this case, is time.
Anyone who wants to earn trust needs to try hard. Listening to the negative comments and criticism becomes his everyday reality at the beginning of the way to strong relationships, and both partners need to go through it.
You should not take offense. When you do it, you try to justify yourself. It is a normal psychological defense reaction, but think what it can give you. The anger of your loved one can be adequately explained. Do not say unpleasant things to him if your goal is to restore trust and preserve relationships, not to destroy them.
- Give up the roles of the prosecutor and the defendant
When the worst thing - the confession of deception - ends, the most difficult stage begins. If you decide to stay with each other, do not play the role of the prosecutor and the defendant. Such behavior does not strengthen trust; it gives a completely opposite result.
The “prosecutor” tries to take his anger out and invents new and new tasks and quests for the person who has lost his trust. The "defendant" struggles to receive grace. Also, he accumulates anger when all the attempts end in nothing.
The best solution, in this case, is to keep calm and tell the partner directly that you are ready to wash away guilt, but constant reproaches cannot help you to do it.
- Do not involve other people in the conflict
You both have decided to stay together after the disloyalty, so you bear responsibility for it. That is why you should not draw other people into the process of getting into an argument, whether they are relatives, friends, or your children. You should discuss what has happened only in a couple, without extraneous interference, condemnation, and compassion. The only person who can be the third in such conversations is a family psychologist.
- Allow your partner more access to your personal life
Provide your partner with access to completely personal matters: social networks, SMS, and calls. If you decide to be truthful, then you still have nothing to hide. Such a step helps the partner calm down and have trust in you.
- Do nice things
Take symbolic actions and do nice things to each other. You can go to the cinema, walk around the park, feed the swans at the pond, arrange a romantic dinner in a restaurant, or create an intimate atmosphere at home. Also, discover some of the best fall date ideas. During this, you should refrain from accusations and memories of what happened. It helps to accumulate more positive joint memories.
There are other options for fans of extreme: go on a trip, discover some places of interest, move to another country or city. This is also a strong emotional punch which both of you should take as a starting point to begin your relationships anew.
- Do not wait for instant forgiveness
You should not wait for instant forgiveness or put pressure on your partner. The best thing you can do is start listening to the feelings and needs of your loved one. The pain he feels is very strong, it just cannot stop at one moment. It is absolutely normal.
When deciding to keep the relationship after the betrayal, you should understand that it is very difficult at first, but then everything changes for the better. Love, appreciate, and trust each other!
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